Apology Letters & Coffee Chocolates
by Grell The Leper
Summary: Vergil has had an argument with his girlfriend, and she's not giving in to his 'charms' easily. So who better to ask for advice then his womanising twin, Dante? VergilxOC, VergilxMalice, somewhat fluffy oneshot.


_I told myself I'd write another chapter of Vergil's Adventures In Underland first. I lied. So I wrote this instead, another MalicexVergil oneshot. This one is set in the regular Devil May Cry universe, but if Vergil hadn't gone and jumped into hell and made me and Dante cry. I am a little worried about Vergil's character in this one, but hopefully he's not too off. Enjoy, and feedback would be wonderful :3_

**Disclaimer: I own Malice. If she loved me, she'd bring Vergil over sometime, but so far, she's kinda letting me down. I'd take Dante either, Mal, if Vergil is busy.**

**Apology Letters & Coffee Chocolates**

"Dante?" The red twin grumbled, shifting slightly in his chair.

"Dante?" A swift kick to his side was quickly batted away as he tried to get back to his dreams. What was that stripper's name again?

"Dante! Wake up, now!" With a yelp, Dante was tipped out of his chair and landed on his face. Vergil glared down at him, arms folded across his chest.

"Dude, what's your problem?! Can't a guy get some sleep around here?" the younger twin exclaimed, facing his brother with hand on hip.

"You're an idiot. You sleep too much. You're also the bane of my existence. That's just three problems off the top of my head."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It was rhetorical and you know it."

"Ooh, look at that, Dante knows a four syllable word, you are doing well, brother," Vergil sneered.

"Very funny, Verge, your wit never ceases to amuses me. Now was there a reason you woke me or did you just want to be more of an ass than usual?" Vergil opened his mouth to retort, but then stopped, his cold eyes narrowing. If Dante didn't know better he would have said his brother was hesitant. Unsure of himself.

"Bro? Is something wrong?" Vergil crinkled his nose slightly, refusing to meet his brother's gaze.

"I... I may need your help with something. It's Malice," Vergil muttered, rubbing furiously at his nose, a nervous tick he had developed over the years. It wasn't often anybody saw Vergil nervous, not without being impaled on Yamato, but Dante could remember it easily from their school days. Vergil never had felt comfortable around people.

"Malice? Little silver-eyed girlfriend of yours? What about her?"

"We had... an argument. A disagreement. She's... angry. With me." Vergil sighed. "I told her I didn't want her coming demon hunting with me, because she was too wreckless and she was putting herself in danger."

"And she disagreed with you? So, what? You didn't go all I'm-insane-look-at-my-tower-of-doom on her, did you?"

"No!"

"Am I going to find her tied up in a basement, Vergil?"

"No! I did not lock her in a-"

"On the roof then?"

"No! Now shut up, or I'm leaving and I won't tell you the rest!" Vergil snapped. Dante sat himself on his desk, opening a can of tomato juice. Clearly, this was going to take a while.

"Okay, okay. She disagreed. Then what happened?"

"We argued. And she was angry and I was angry, and I... I may have said something I shouldn't have. She hasn't spoken to me since and she won't come out of her room. She's just been talking to that mangey cat she found. I think... I think made her cry," Vergil explained, glaring at the floor as though it had offended his honour somehow.

"Awh hell, bro, what did you say to her? Why would you make Malice cry?" Dante demanded, glaring at his socially inept brother.

"It was not my intention," Vergil snapped. "I was only trying to keep her safe!"

"Vergil, what did you say to her?"

"I only told her to stop being ... insane," Vergil muttered, so quietly that Dante almost didn't hear him. Almost. His jaw dropped.

"You did what?! Dude, you're supposed to be the smart brother, stop letting your side down!"

"I don't understand what the issue is! It's only a word," Vergil sighed. Dante shook his head, taking his brother by the shoulders and sitting him down on the couch, a move that usually would have started some sword fight or another.

"Vergil. Verge. You're the reason we can't have nice things, y'know? This chick has problems. You broke her out of a mental asylum, where they've been calling her crazy all her life. Do you really think she wants to hear that from you too?" Vergil, still rubbing at his nose, said nothing. "Vergil, do something!"

"Like what?! I don't understand people, Dante! I'm not like you, I'm not... used to this... How do I get her to talk to me?" Dante sighed, clapping a hand down on his brother's shoulder.

"Look, Vergil, I understand that you're socially retarded, and that you've probably never been laid in your life," Dante began, pointedly ignoring Vergil's answering snarl. "But that's okay. Because I'm pretty sure Malice understands too. So go, apologise. Bring flowers, or chocolate. Or both, both is good. Make her smile. She adores you, bro, it won't take much."

"Do you think so?"

"Trust me, Verge, I'm the master. Now, go forth, young padowan, form a social life, get laid!" Dante ordered, throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis.

"Everytime I speak to you, you just give me another reason to hate you. Obnoxious fool," Vergil sighed, brushing off his coat as he stood. He didn't want "Dante's filth" on his possessions. "I'll be going now. It seems I have chocolate to buy." Dante grinned as his brother left the office.

"I am good. I am too good. I should have an advice column. I should be getting paid for this."

* * *

"Malice?" The girl rolled her eyes, the incessant knocking swiftly beginning to grate on her last nerves. "Malice, come out here. I wish to speak with you."

"Funny, I thought we were finished being ordered around, eh, Barnabus?" Malice muttered to the stripy cat in residing in her lap.

"Malice! ... Please. I wish to... apologise." The last word almost tasted like venom in his mouth, and Vergil leant his head against the wall as he continued to knock.

"Go on then," Malice called.

"May I come in?"

"Well, that depends on how good your apology is, doesn't it?" Vergil hoped that Malice cold feel his icy glare despite the door's intervention. Not that it had ever been particularly effective on her before, it was just a force of habit by this stage.

"Listen, I'm sorry I said you were insane. That was terribly inconsiderate of me," Vergil all but growled. Silence followed. Then,

"Is that it?!" Malice screeched at him as she pulled her door open, her eyes flashing with anger and something else. Disappointment, perhaps? "Seriously, Vergil, that's all you're going to say?! Do you honestly think that's enough?!"

"I've already apologised, what else do you want me to say?!" Vergil snapped. "Oh, I'm sorry that you pitch a fit every time somebody acknowledges your mental instability? I'm sorry that you have your little flashbacks and go crazy every few weeks? ... Oh, no, no, Malice, I didn't mean that, Malice, wait-" For the second time that day, Malice promptly slammed the door in the half-demon's face. With a long sigh, Vergil sank down to sit with his back to the door.

"Well, this didn't go as planned, as I'm sure you can tell," he called out to her, getting no answer. "I had intended to give you chocolate. It's here if you want it?" There was a resounding thud from the other side of the door, a thud that Vergil expected was probably the result of one of Malice's clunky combat boots hitting it. Sighing yet again, Vergil rose to his feet, heading towards his study.

* * *

After years of conditioning in mental asylums, Malice had learned not to cry. That tears made every situation worse. There had been needles everyday, restraints, incidents with other, larger, patients, incidents with much larger doctors, and straightjackets had been a regular thing, but she hadn't cried. And all of a sudden, one half-demon calls her insane and it was like a floodgate had opened, despite the fact that the half-demon in question wasn't exactly a picture of mental health himself.

"Stupid, stupid tears," she muttered to the cat, feeling like a child as she sniffled and sobbed. "Stupid, asshat of a demon."

"... I don't know what to do!" Malice heard Vergil shout from down the hall. "Yes, I apologised... No, it wasn't mushy, what does that even mean?!" Malice figured he was probably on the phone to Dante.

"Look, I don't know what else to say what else to say to her! She doesn't want to talk to me anymore, she just keeps telling that cat how much of an "asshat" I am... Yes, I know I'm the reason we can't have nice things, you've said that, but that's not helping..." Malice gave a sniffly chuckle. Definitely Dante.

"Alright, alright!... Yes, I'll try that, goodbye." Vergil hung up the phone with a sigh. Admittedly, for once, Dante's idea wasn't a completely bad one. It was worth a shot, he supposed.

* * *

A half an hour or so later, Malice heard shuffling at her door, and a quiet profanity, before a small envelope was slid under the frame. Malice frowned at the offending piece of paper for a moment before picking it up. Her name was scrawled over the top in what she easily recognised as Vergil's cursive handwriting. Snuggling back beneath her fluffy bed covers, she opened it.

_Dear Malice,_

_I deeply apologise for insulting you. It was not my intention, I merely wished to keep you safe, as you are very important. To me._

_As you may have noticed, apologies and emotions are not something I am accustomed to. (Dante said I am "socially inept", but he, as we both know, is an idiot, and I am not yet sure why I speak to him). However, I am willing to try. For you. Because you're important._

_I do not think you are insane, nor do I question your stability of mind. You are very sane, incredibly so, and I applaud you for this._

_I have never had time, nor patience, for friends, or anything more, before you crept into my life. You leapt in, unannounced, and I was given no choice in the matter, but I'm glad you did. I cannot quite recall how my life was when you were not in it, nor do I wish too, as I'm sure it could not have compared._

_I have left your chocolates by your door, (they would not fit under it), so that you do not have to speak with me if you do not wish. Just know that I am sorry for being an "asshat"._

_Sincerely,_  
_Vergil._

Malice shook her head, placing the letter on the bedside table as she went to the door. True to his word, Vergil had left several boxes of chocolates at her door, a different flavour in each, a single tiger-lily on top. Her favourites. He had remembered.

* * *

"Vergil?" The half-demon looked up from his book in mild surprise as Malice knocked politely on the study door, holding two steaming cups in her hand. "I made tea. I thought you might want some, it's cold in here."

"Yes, I suppose it is. Thank you." Vergil took the blue cup, his cup, from her hands. The stripy ones were always Malice's. "Did you... get my letter?"

"I did." Malice answered simply, sitting herself on the cushioned arm of Vergil's chair. Vergil nodded, taking a sip of his tea and grimacing.

"This is... very... pleasant tea," he said. He lied. The 'tea' tasted a lot more like warm, liquid sugar, the way Malice liked it.

"I'm glad you like it, dear, I may have been offended otherwise," she smirked at him. She watched as Vergil forced down another sip before letting out a quiet snigger.

"It's okay, Vergil, you can stop that now," she giggled. "This one is yours, I just wanted to make sure you were sorry." Vergil's face was deadpan as he placed the sugary cup of doom on his desk, taking the stripy cup from her hands.

"You're a new kind of evil, you know that, don't you, Malice?" he muttered darkly. Malice grinned at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks, Verge, that's so kind of you," she crooned, pressing her face into his neck. "I saved the coffee chocolates for you by the way. I know they're your favourites."

"You haven't tampered with them, have you? I know what you do to bitter things," Vergil questioned, narrowing his eyes at her. He remembered the last time she had saved him "coffee chocolates" all too well.

"Would I do that to you? Honestly, I don't know how you can stand to eat them, they're not sweet at all," Malice exclaimed, looking somewhat wounded by the thought as she handed him the little box of chocolates.

"I get more than enough sweetness from you, thank you, Malice. The chocolate is a counterbalance to you," he mumbled, wrapping a muscled arm around her as he took a chocolate.

"When did you become the poet? That's pretty sweet, especially coming from a bitter demon like you," Malice smiled, running her hands through his hair. Vergil smiled back, wincing as he took a bite out of the chocolate.

"You sweetened these anyway, didn't you?"

"Yep. It was a crime otherwise."

**The End.**


End file.
